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Newsletter Vol. #1 That's how I see it!

This is the inaugural edition (second round) of the That's how I see it! Newsletter-so welcome!

We'll try to be entertaining, informative, with a little bit of something for everyone. Maybe even bring a little controversy to your life and/a smile to your lips once in a while.

I will be encouraging more of our readers to contribute to the Newsletter with their own slant on theater, music, community events and of course their own insight on the issues in their lives. Remember, if you have anything to say about anything or as a response to the Newsletter and it's not slanderous or mean-spirited, drop me an email at danrosin@drcounselling.com

So let's get started, here is Vol. #1 of That's how I see it!



Article
The Kids Are Coming Back!

     More and more the kids are coming back to live after having been gone for a few years and many times they are not alone. Of course there are those who never left and are approaching thirty.
     The reason kids are coming back or not leaving in the first place has to do with economics: high cost of university tuition and housing, high unemployment, or a sense of entitlement that they should "have it all now", and/or a dysfunctional interdependence - kids on parents and as strange as it seems, parents hanging on to their kids.
     In the US 13 per cent of the children moving home did so because of the recession (MacLean's, Aug. 2010). The "Why" young people have moved back home is understood, the bothersome issue for many parents is that they have "moved on" in their absence of the kids but the kids are now expecting them to resume old roles. They move back and are quite critical and disrespectful of their parent's lifestyle - values and rules. In fact the kids feel there should be no rules or accountability at all, they are all grown up (but living in their old bedroom). I believe the line could go: "Please consider that grownups don't live with their parents! Grownups should practice acceptance and tolerance of others who are different from themselves (and particularly if those 'others' are footing most of the bill); and grownups let people know they are going to be out late or miss established meal times."
     The clash and resentment develops because the parents are perceived as authority figures and the kids act like kids again and start to rebel. It's hard to see your child as not needing guidance when he/she is near 30 and living in your basement. So you give it - guidance - the kids see it as control and the war is on.
     I find it interesting that for the first time in North American history, it is being predicted, that our children will not have the same standard of living as their parents have enjoyed. And for some strange reason the parents are feeling guilty about this and end up rescuing their kids from the new economic reality.
"Kids aged 18-34 in NA receive on average $2200 a year over that 17   year period to cover education, housing, and other costs." (MacLean's, Aug 2010)
The kids feel entitled and the parents feel obligated.
     If you find yourself in a somewhat similar position with grownup kids at home or coming back home, so that resentment can be kept to a minimum, I offer the following thoughts:
     -make it clear this is a short-term solution;
     -parents don't become available just because you no longer go to a job each day;
     -if money is involved and you can afford it, give any money as a gift, don't loan it (when it doesn't get paid back there is resentment);
     -don't ask the question, "What can we do to help?" because they will answer it and put you to work or be angry with you for "... interfering in their life". It's definitely a no win situation!
     Be sure if you do help with time or money that you are free of resentment. What I mean by this is that you are giving of yourself to someone who truly needs your help, not one who feels entitled. And rarely do for your kids because you think you "should" - that's Rescuing and is not good for either party.

That's how I see it! How do you see it?

Take a minute and give me some feedback- danrosin@drcounselling.com



Did You Know

Kelly Williams Brown has written a book called Adulting, How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy (ish) Steps. It's the first book of its kind-a guide for Millennials who do their best not to grow up: the young professional whose parents still pay her cell phone bill; the med student who spends his student - loan money on a trip to Tijuana- dependent adults.

Perhaps this would make an excellent gift for young adult in your life?

Did You Know

Fewer than half of our young workers pay their monthly bills on time, one third can't pay their bills at all and 71% don't have enough savings to cover two months of living expenses. According to a recent study by the Toronto-Dominion Bank, 43% of Canadian parents with adult children out of school say they let their kids live at home rent-free, and 23% say they help out with her kids groceries and rent.



Might be funny

An 85-year-old couple, after having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
 
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing each of the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" St. Peter's reply, "This is  heaven, you play for free."
 
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man? "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is FREE!" St. Peter replied with some exasperation.   "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part, you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
 
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it and shrieking wildly. St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
 
The old man pointed at his wife and said, "This is all your fault.  If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"


Definition of Health

Good health is having no fatigue, having a good appetite, going to sleep and waking easily, having a good memory having good humour and having precision in thought and action, not being clutchy, being honest, humble, grateful and loving. How healthy are you?

I help people to understand how their mental patterns constantly create their own life experiences both the good and the bad, and how these mental patterns create the disease in their own bodies. Illness in the body is merely the body's way of telling us we are on the wrong track that we need to change. If we listen to the body it will give us directions. You do not want to get rid of the condition to quickly because you will not have learned the reason that the body has had to get you to listen to what it is trying to teach you. That is something is not right in your life, your mental way of looking at life.
                                                                                                                                                                             Louise Hay



Qualities Of Healthy People

Independent studies by Maslow, Otto, Rogers, and others of people who almost never become ill and/or who recover quickly when they do, reveal striking similar profile. Here is a summary: healthy people have high self-esteem, a strong sense of purpose, and acceptance of themselves and others, are affectionate and expressive, have "peak experiences" on a regular basis, possess integrity as well as competence, have "democratic" personalities, a sense of humour, our creative and committed to excellence in what they do, are highly conditioned physically.


The Quiz           

What world-famous company opened its first location in Seattle in 1971?
Which two countries make up the Iberian Peninsula?
What is the name of the cafe in the TV series Friends?
How many teams did Wayne Gretzky play for during his NHL career?
The Treaty of Versailles officially ended what conflict?
What colour is the "00" compartment on a roulette wheel?
Which cartoon character lives in a pineapple in a place called Bikini Bottom?
Mount Logan is the highest mountain in which country?
Which organization has the motto: Fidelity, Bravery and Integrity?

(The Quiz questions and answers came from Maclean's magazine and put together by Terrance Belazo. Check out MacLean's for new quizzes from T. Belazo)    


Eating

Eating can be a psychological need as much as a physical. One needs to understand that the body sends signals telling you when it's hungry and when it's satisfied. The next time you are about to eat ask yourself if you're truly hungry. Real hunger is a physiological need that pushes you to eat in order to survive. Also hunger is a psychological need to eat, stimulated by the sight, smell or thought of appetizing food. As well we eat for other psychological reasons such as the replacement of a satisfying life, and of course we've heard of "comfort food", we desire when we are feeling stressed or fatigued.

If eating becomes about weight, the experts all agree: weight is about total calories in versus total calories out, no matter where they come from. Just like the rest of our life- everything is a choice!


Exercise as An Antidepressant

35 years ago while studying for my doctorate (Dan), the studies supporting exercise as an effective treatment for depression were not only encouraging but also fairly conclusive. Present studies have shown conclusively that exercise is as effective as antidepressants in the treatment of depression. Wow!

I believe the Big Three in the treatment of depression to be medication, exercise and laughter. We know that medication and exercise are extremely helpful in the treatment of depression. Did you realize that laughter and interaction with others is also a legitimate treatment for depression?


Answers

Starbucks; Spain and Portugal; Central Perk; Four; First world war; Green; Sponge Bob Square pants; Canada; FBI


Well that's volume 1, not earthshaking, we are not going to change the world, but perhaps it's worth a five-minute read.

Contributions (articles, opinions, jokes, reviews) are definitely welcomed. If you would like to share the Newsletter with others you have my permission.

That's how I see it!

Dan

Dr. Dan Rosin
Phone: 204-299-9399
E-mail: danrosin@drcounselling.com
Web: http://www.drcounselling.com
 

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