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Newsletter Vol. # 26 That's how I see it!

Newsletter Vol. # 26 That's how I see it!

Hello and welcome to this week's newsletter

What you'll find in this weeks newsletter: It's Just a Job...; Quiz to stump you; story of Twenty Dollars; Movement affects thinking and feeling; something you always wanted to know: Music To Be Buried By; and It is important to have an occupation after retirement.


It's Just A Job - No It's Not!

"It's just a job not a calling" is a phrase I have used multiple times in my stress and wellness workshops. To me it means that what you do can be very important but it isn't who you are and it certainly isn't your life. There certainly are people who disagree with me!

Well-adjusted people fall apart because they are no longer favoured at the workplace. Hard working, loyal employees who have survived many crisis in their lives, when passed over for promotion, or demoted, or criticized by an unsympathetic supervisor are devastated, get sick and have to leave the workplace.

Work is personal. These days, more people have higher expectations for work than ever before. People want to bring their whole selves to the job - all of their skills, all of their interests, all of their values. Work has turned into their sole passion. Whether they are single or married with children work has become their primary source of self-esteem, recognition, and respect-their only path to interconnectedness. (Ilene Pyilipson)

What they have done is to transfer all their unmet emotional needs to the workplace. What they don't understand is that their boss is not their friend; colleagues are not their family. It's a false friendliness and is very political. You do have to take care of yourself in this environment. You have to realize that if you lead with your heart you might be setting yourself up for a fall, a betrayal.

As family, community, and religious ties have broken down life outside work has become increasingly empty. Meanwhile workplaces have become increasingly more appealing, with teams replacing rigid hierarchies, casual dress supplanting corporate power suits, and employers offering rank-and-file workers previously unimaginable opportunities to make an impact. As a result, more people are looking to their jobs to satisfy basic emotional needs that, in another era, would have been met by family, religion, and community life. (I. Pyilipson.)

I don't believe that Pyilipson is suggesting that it is unhealthy for a job to encourage you to feel valued and part of a community. The problem occurs when work is the only place where these needs are met. Your identity should not be tied to just one relationship, and a tenuous one at that. We need many areas that provide us with support and positive affirmations to be healthy.

I have heard many times in my office after a client had lost their job, "Work was very important to me, now that it isn't there any more I don't know what I'll do, who I am." They just wander around, lost and feeling like their life is over.

You might expect the president or CEO to make their life their work, to feel really badly, as they have a lot to lose - power, status and money. But you don't expect the secretary to be so devastated but they are.

Donald Gibson and Sigal Barsade, Yale school of management, Becoming emotionally dependent on work is a remarkably common, if hidden, phenomenon. In a telephone survey of 1,000 working men and women, 24% -nearly one out of four-were "chronically" angry at work. The most common reason for their anger was they sensed that their employers "violated basic promises" and didn't fulfill "the expected psychological contract with their workers." But the problem remains mostly "underground", because people tend not to express their anger openly. Instead they simply lose interest in their work and become lethargic and uncooperative.

Benjamin Hunnicutt, University of Iowa, worries that work is replacing religion in providing meaning in people's lives. Work has become how we define ourselves. It is now answering the traditional religious questions: Who am I? How do I find meaning and purpose? Work is no longer just about economics; it's about identity.

(The fact that Dr. Hunnicutt worries about work replacing religion as a prime value in our lives has me believing that he sees this shift as not a good thing. I agree with him that perhaps work ought not to be given such a high value in a person's life, just as I believe that perhaps religion ought not to be seen as "the" answer either.)

That's how I see it!

Reply? danrosin@drcounselling.com


Quiz

Which actress, who died in 2011, enter final film appearance in "The Flintstones", playing Fred Flintstone's mother-in-law?

According to legend, which Canadian prime minister often sought advice from his deceased mother by way of a séance?

Mother's Day is celebrated in The U.K., usually in the month of March, when is known by what name?

Actress Mariska Hargitay's father was a former Mr. universe and her mother was which sex symbol and actress from the 1950s?

In what classic book for sisters refer to their mother by the nickname "Marmee"?

A gang of hoodlums with the names Herman, Lloyd, Arthur, Fred and Willmer were the sons of Arizona Donnie Clark, better known to the FBI as whom?

Answers listed below


Twenty Dollars

 A well-known speaker started off his seminar by: holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, ' I am going to give this $20 to one of you  but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, ' Who still wants it? Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And  he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. Now, who still wants it? Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE..

You are special--Don't EVER forget it '


Quiz Answers

Elizabeth Taylor, William Lyon Mackenzie King, Mothering Sunday, Jane Mansfield, Little Women, Ma Barker



Movement

Movement is the basis of awareness. We cannot sense, feel or think without movement. Our every action, mental as well as physical, originates in muscular activity. The part of the brain that makes us walk, the motor cortex, lies only a few millimetres away from the part of the brain strata that deals with the association process, thought and feeling. The proximity of the two means that walking, which mobilizes the motor cortex, has a parallel effect on thinking and feeling.


Music To Be Buried By

Once you would hear only the most reverential classics at funerals. Now it's more likely to guitar tracks by rock legends blaring through speakers. This is today's hit parade of funeral tunes as voted by 45,000 Europeans in a recent poll.

1. Queen-The Show Must Go On
2. Led Zeppelin-Stairway To Heaven
3. AC/DC-Highway to Hell
4. Frank Sinatra-My Way
5. Mozart-Requiem
6. Robbie Williams-Angels
7. Queen-Who Wants To Live Forever?
8. The Beatles-Let It Be
9. Metallica-Nothing Else Matters
10. U2-With Or Without You



Remember:
                  Amateurs built the ark---Professionals built the Titanic.



Importance of having an occupation after retirement

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world.
It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.
Harold Schlumberg is such a person: THIS IS QUOTED FROM HAROLD:

"I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'
Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine.
It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling.
I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

Harold is an inspiration to all off us!

Got any good jokes or stories, that are funny and appropriate? I'd love to print them in the newsletter.


I am off to the Caymans and this time I don't plan on being injured - lots of golf.
Have a great couple of weeks yourself.

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