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Midweek #6-Dr Dan Rosin

Men and women speak different languages- or at least use the same language very differently. Men live in a world of hierarchy and competition, and that much of the communication is about establishing one's status in the hierarchy, and gaining dominance if possible. Women are more likely to see the world as a series of connections, in which closeness is the goal, and communication is about trying to deepen those connections and building confirmation, support, and consensus.


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Permission to Try New Things

One definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome."

Clients who subscribe to this philosophy, that is clearly not working, often express statements such as these:

I am depressed; my life is absolutely no fun;
I just seem to work harder each year and have less time for myself.

They have been programmed to believe they need to "just work harder and things will take care of themselves." This "work-harder" thing is an antiquated belief quite common in our parents' era and resurrected again in the 1990s. No, working harder at something that clearly isn't working certainly won't fix the problem.

Think about the following:

• If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting!

• Figure out what works and do more of it!

• Figure out what doesn't work and do less of it!
(Options for Solution Focused Therapy)

We need to give ourselves permission to try new things, even if we don't know what the outcome will be. We need to give up some of the
precious control in our lives and just change some things. See what happens, rather than try to control what happens. On the other hand,
change doesn't always mean better, but neither has maintaining the status quo, especially when we already know what doesn't work. We sometimes need to go against what we have come to believe is the best way of doing things and find newer, healthier ways of living our lives.

There is some inexplicable and unavoidable logic in the saying:

                                        "Sometimes we need to lose our mind to come to our senses."

The only thing I know for sure about change, besides being inevitable, is that we will at least feel alive when we have tried
something new, or done something old in a different way.
                                                                                              "Finding Balance..."



You can purchase a copy of Dan's book on-line from McNally Robinson.  Click www.drcounselling.com (Site Navigation- On-Line Purchase) to purchase a copy via McNally Robinson.


August 11 already-where has the summer gone?

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