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Midweek #8

Still a few copies left for reviewing!

If you would like a copy of my second book, Communication and Relationships ($19.95) for free - to review, please call me or email me. I am afraid that you will be on the hook for the postage ($6) if I have to mail it to you.

Dan rosin, 178 Elm St. Wpg. R3M 3P2
Pick up is free! We can make arrangements
Telephone 299-9399 or email me at danrosin@drcounselling.com

 



It's Never Too Late to Have a Happy Childhood

In my job as a therapist, I see people every day with a hurt, scared little person trapped inside. This child (C) has not had the opportunity in their family to do those things that little children do naturally when they are adequately nurtured. Instead, they have learned dysfunctional behaviors to help them survive.

The essence of a child is pure feeling. In a family where abuse is perpetrated on family members, the child, who is either the victim of or a witness to the abuse, is often forced early in life to be responsible for self-survival. This is also typical when a member of the family is alcoholic. The child learns certain grown-up survival behaviors, and while they do survive, they miss out on the opportunity for a happy childhood.

Children raised in dysfunctional families often have to be little adults (A), figuring out how to keep themselves safe at a very early age. They never really have the opportunity to be a child-a fun-loving, curious, creative, mischievous, wonderfully naive, little human being.

I think it is very important for individuals to know they have done the best they can, and that they be praised for surviving. Rational thinking does not usually develop until around age 12, so the child has to decide how to make sense of the craziness that confronts them before they actually have the ability to make sense of it.

If nurtured properly by the adults early in their life, the natural task for the child is to develop a sense of humour, spontaneity, curiosity, creativity; in essence, to be a fun-loving person, not solely in charge of keeping themselves safe. Safety is normally considered the responsibility of the adults in this young person's life. After the age of 12, their own rational thought process naturally takes over that task.

According to family communication experts Satir and Bradshaw, almost everybody comes from a dysfunctional family. If this is correct, then it is all the more important for each of us to accept that we come from a dysfunctional family with dysfunctional coping behaviors.

Perhaps that is the reason why many of us:
•    are so focused on work,
•    feel a need to control most events and people in our lives,
•    have fears and nightmares of our family of origin, and
•    exhibit such driven behaviors.
Our "child" has been forced to be an adult before its time, has not been allowed to play, and is still in urgent need of a happy childhood.

We could start by figuring out what's fun for the "child," what tastes good, what colours are fun, and what activities make us giggle. And we could embark on the search for a happy childhood by making friends with small kids who can show us the way. If they are not readily available, then we can be friends with those grown-ups who already have a strong, fun child inside them.
                 --------------------------------------------------

                                                         It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

                                                                      I can't make you learn.
                                                                    I can't make you behave.
                                                             I can only reach out and invite you to...

                                                  I respect the "hard lessons" in life, like loss and failure. 
           However, I don't focus on them for too long because I need to get on with he positive excitement of life to stay healthy.

  If it is true that everyone comes from a dysfunctional family, then you are just "normally" screwed up and not "specially" screwed up.



Many of you have read my first book I can have fun on a school night which became Finding Balance... (to please an American publisher). The book has been very successful (over 10,000 sold)-see below what some people have said about the book.

"This is a book I want the people I care most about to read."

"I came away from reading the book feeling energized and having a rejuvenated will to do the things that I should do to keep myself healthy."

"I think this book was written for and about me."
 
"After reading your book, I now realize how much of life I have been missing. I will become more aware and make a better life. I will read the book again, page by page, then I will read it again."

"Reading your book has helped me to redefine what is important in my life and I have begun to make the changes to be healthier and happier."

"The book is full of snippets of wisdom that hit me where I live. It helped me to rethink where I am in my life and where I want to be, but most importantly, the book showed me how to get there."

"Its easy to read and it is written in one or two page chunks of information, so you can read a section or two even if you only have a few minutes to spare."

"I love the line in the book that says, 'I am not especially screwed up, just normally screwed up."

After reading what has been said about the book in these testimonials I believe, and I say this with much confidence and pride, that these books needs to be read by all persons who are not leading balanced and healthy lives and who's relationship (s) need an upgrade.

These are just a few of the testimonials-3 pages available on my website www.drcounselling.com under Site Navigation see Testimonials



You can purchase a copy of Finding Balance at McNally Robinson (Grant Park) or on-line from these fine on-line outlets: 

 


Would it be too much to ask for you to share Midweek with others on your email list?  Copies #1 - #7 can be found at www.drcounselling.com

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