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Newsletter Vol. #62 That's how I see it!

Fringe Festival

We (Frank Adamson and myself) are writing and producing a play/musical called Quartet and hope to be showcasing it in the Winnipeg Fringe Festival this coming July. I say "hope" because the final selection of plays to be in the Festival has not been finalized. Our script is finished but still needs to go through the process of being "workshopped."
 
We need volunteers to help with a variety of jobs- extras in the play, dropping off and picking up, helping me with fund raising and publicity. So, "Mabel, Mabel if you're able get your elbows off the table" and call me and volunteer- please!

Right at this moment I need help in two areas: 1) to make sure our proposal to Kickstarter (a way to raise funds over the Internet) gets accepted and 2) I need an E-mail sent to a large list of names. To be perfectly honest with you I am somewhat lacking when it comes to computer skills. Unfortunately most of my job in getting this project ready for July requires computer savvy. Help!

Dan
Dr. Dan Rosin
Phone: 204-299-9399
E-mail: danrosin@drcounselling.com


For what unhealthy reason would you want to keep someone in your life (other than your teenagers) who doesn't listen to you? Mm!


 "The Value of Acquaintances

If you want more friends in your life, stop looking for them!
Making new friends can be a real problem. I often have the
question posed to me during counselling: "How do I make new
friends now that I am in my 50s?" I generally find that these
clients have had the same difficulties in their 40s, 30s and 20s.
However, why this has been a problem throughout their life is
not my focus. It is a fact that they have this difficulty, and that's
that! What they can do to make new friends is the issue. But when
they ask me how to make friends, I tell them sheepishly, "I am not
really sure"-and I still charge the same fee!
     What I do feel confident about, however, is that "the place
to start making a friend is with the decision to stop looking to
make one." It is said to be paradoxical when the harder you try,
the less you get! This paradox factor will certainly interfere with
the process of making someone a friend, so stop trying so hard
and let it happen.

        If you want a relationship to work, stop being so afraid to lose it
                                       and laugh more.

I think it is best to simply focus on an activity and have fun with
the people-acquaintances-we meet at these activities. Stop
being so serious, and stop making a concerted effort to make a lot
of friends. I believe a person is very fortunate to have one or two
really good friends in life. So stop at one or two friends and have
several acquaintances. I believe you will have a lot more fun!
     Remember, if you want to develop more relationships:

Choose activities that you enjoy and hook up with like-minded people
                            who choose the same activities.

     Is the same true for interpersonal relationships? Can paradox
be an issue? Can it be that the harder you try to make it work, the
less likely it will work? I believe that to be true.
     In my line of work, and based on what I have heard from the
people I see, I would say that relationships are often a huge hassle
in people's lives. Of course, people only come to see me when
they have relationship problems, so I may be biased! However, in
general, it seems to me that acquaintances make more sense and
can be a lot more fun.
     Despite what I say or what makes sense, the human animal
will always keep trying to connect with others and make their
special relationships work-sometimes at great personal cost.
When we are in a relationship, change often occurs and we
become needier. The lower the person's self esteem, the greater the
fear of losing what they have in the relationship. We are desperate
to make the relationship work. We become controlling. We are
less relaxed and more serious and we end up having less fun.
The experience provides almost the total opposite of what drew us
into the relationship in the first place.
 
This concept was taken from Dan's first book, Finding Balance. For more information about this book and his yet to be released book, Communication & Relationships click this link www.drcounselling.com and check under Site Navigation.


Cayman Island Report (my second home-I wish)

The Kimpton
The headline read, "Kimpton opens amid fanfare." The newly built, ultra chic hotel on the Grand Cayman Island opened for guests on Tuesday, November 15. The 266 room hotel has been four years in the making, with more than "900 people" working on the construction project. One of those people was our son Brad. He is a finishing carpenter and did just that, finished several parts of the new monolithic structure.

On a small island by Grand Cayman the impact of a "300 million project" on the economy is quite significant. Apparently, the opening of the hotel means an "8 per cent boost in Caymans room availability." That means more jobs at the airport, more taxis, or tour buses, more jobs in the restaurant and dive industry, and all things having to do with tourism.

At this point I have only seen the Kimpton from the road- it is formidable!


Males, repeat after me: "I will stop fixing (problem solving) things in my partner's life. Instead I will work on showing her more understanding and compassion." (from Communication & Relationships, Dr. Dan Rosin).


Wellness

HIGH LEVEL WELLNESS OR LOW LEVEL WORSENESS --ITS YOUR CHOICE

Are you are less healthy than you want to be? Are you tired of spending too much of your time thinking about what's wrong with you or your life? Are you spending a lot of money on prescription drugs and medicine and wondering whether there aren't alternatives to our medical system? If you are sick of being marginally well you just may be ready for high level wellness. There are many paths which will lead you there. What's important is that you select the route that fits for you. Because you have particular needs preferences and priorities and because your success is strongly affected by your level of commitment, it is vital that you call the shots. Here are some guide-lines that may be helpful to you:

1.You are in charge of your own well-being. You carry the key to your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual health. Take the counsel and assistance of others into account since this can make it easier for you but in the final analysis your wellness or worseness is your responsibility.

2. Forget about magic or instant solutions. Many of the diseases in our civilization are the result of destructive lifestyles. Even though medicine has made tremendous advancements in the last decades we are still better off depending on ourselves to develop and maintain healthy lifestyles than to depend on medical cures for illness.

3. Your body is the world's greatest healer. As   marvellous as our body is, the effects of abuse, neglect and misuse over years will take it's toll. Develop an understanding and appreciation of your body and the natural laws of healing. Establish lifestyle patterns which support nature's healing process and avoid anything that blocks it.

4.Neither Rome nor a Wellness Lifestyle can be built in a day. It is easier to eat junk food, ignore exercise, and take pills to cover-up tension headaches than it is to deliberately establish a lifestyle which incorporates healthy alternatives. It takes time to discover the many ways in which we hurt ourselves and then to experiment with new behaviours which promote health in all aspects of our being. It takes dedication, perseverance and patience. It takes time to develop new habits.

5. High level wellness is more rewarding than high level worseness. Feeling vital, alive and healthy is simply more fun that being sick and feeling depressed. It is a richer way to live and offers less pain, more highs and fewer lows. Get positively addicted to high level wellness.
                                                                                                           Don Ardell


Reader Response

I am green with envy Dan, when I hear about all your trips to the
islands. I can just imagine being hit with hot air! I Am still stuck caring
for two elderly parents, aged 95 and 97 who want to stay in their own
home. It wouldn't be a bad thing, since they are independent, but
 they are also stubborn and anxious, so don't let me
go too far away from them. In one way, it is a privilege to still have
parents around, and in another way it is a burden. Likely most of your
readers are past this care-giving stage, but if not, it would make a
good topic to open up in your newsletter.
Enjoy the sun, you lucky ducky!                Merika.     

Your right Merika, care-giving would make a good topic for the
Newsletter. I'll see what I can do.   


George Carlin sez...
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a whole lot more as
they get older. Then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam."  


Selye And Stress

As I understand it, Hans Selye originally claimed or rather I should say borrowed the term "stress" from the engineering and architectural world- something about stresses and strains on building structures. He went on to redefine what stress was and its effect on the human structure.

For me, controlling one's stressors is about finding balance in one's life. That is, balance between work and play, exercise and rest, laughter and serious interaction. If you get this balance right, you feel alive with little distress.

Eustress is the good kind of stress that keeps us feeling excited, vital, and feeling alive. It is a positive euphoria. It keeps us healthy and feeling glad we are alive. It is the counter-balance to the unhealthy stressors in our lives. Eustress comes from our perception of exciting activities in life such as golf, scuba diving, learning new things, theatre, and just about any situation where we are having fun and enjoying ourselves. Eustress can also include work challenges and for that matter, any situation where we push ourselves and are successful.

Distress or negative stress is mostly of the chronic variety where we perceive the environment to be unpleasant or there is conflict-- where the environment is perceived to be constant, inescapable, or excessively negative. When one perceives a situation, environment, or person to be a distressor, their physical and spirit health can be greatly affected.

Neustress is a term I have heard used to mean neutral, one's perception is neither positive nor negative about the situation.


After spending 3 1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and inane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store pickup a gift for my son. I took my selection-a baseball bat-to the cash register.
"Cash or charge?" The clerk asked.
"Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained," I've just spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle Bureau."
"Shall I gift-wrap the bat," the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"


Have a great week!

If you have a few hours a week to volunteer-let me know.
Phone: 204-299-9399
E-mail: danrosin@drcounselling.com                                   

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