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Newsletter Vol. 68 Thats how I see it!

Would those folks who received a free copy of my newest book, Communication & Relationships and who said they would do a review or write a testimonial about the book, please forward their work to me at
danrosin@drcounselling.com



What I Would Like For You In 2017!
 
     -I'd like you to take better care of yourself. You have an incredibly important and stressful job and you better have a plan to stay healthy.
 
     -I'd like you to feel comfortable (guilt free) inputting yourself first. Then you can be well and take better care of others.
 
     -I'd like you to live your life on purpose-choosing activities and friends who are positive and good for you.
 
     -I'd like you to strengthen your relationship with your partner after all they are second right after you.
 
     -I'd like you to create a "Health Plan" and be in charge of your health and not leave it to chance.
 
     -I'd like you to read and discuss "Finding Balance" with a partner.
 
     -I'd like you to passionately encourage your colleagues to take better care of themselves. Remind them that their job is not a "calling", but just a job-an important one, but not worth sacrificing one's life for.
 
     -I'd like to thank you for reading, "That's how I see it!"
         
      Take care of yourself first, then take care of others.



Anger (Pt. 2)


         Powerless ? Frustration ? Anger

I do not    have universal truth, just my own view (truth) of the world. That view has me believing that when I respond to a situation with anger, it's often because I feel somewhat powerless to change that situation. At those times, I do not feel in charge of my life.

Feeling of Powerlessness (leads to) ? Feeling of Frustration ? Anger

"If you (partner) don't love me anymore, or you (teen) stay out past your curfew, or I have to deal with you (difficult person), then I feel powerless because I can't change your behaviour."
When a car cuts me off in traffic, my frustration and anger is centred on that act. I vow and act accordingly - "Nobody else is going to push me around". My over-reaction to this situation is often the result of feeling frustrated and powerless by some other events in my life.
We need to be clear on what we can change and what we cannot, and to accept the fact that we are powerless to change others. We need to understand that the only real power we have is to state our Thoughts, Feelings, Values, and Beliefs (TFVB). People change themselves. They make decisions themselves. Our words may influence them to the extent that they think or conclude something, but it is their process that leads them to their conclusions.
We can decrease the number of anger episodes in our lives if we stop expecting people to be like us, and learn to state our T F V B only as 'our' truth, not 'the' truth.


             Lowering your expectations lowers your frustration,
              lowers the number of anger episodes.



Did you know

Depressed people, and most of the rest of us, spend a great deal of time and effort trying to control things that can't be controlled. We get caught up in our emotions, get frustrated, get angry, get stubborn, and before you know it we've made ourselves miserable. If we could only stand back and look at the problem objectively, without the emotional heat, we might see that it's not something we can control; or that there's a better way; or that even if there is a better way, we're spending too much time and effort on something that we really don't need to be doing.



I Have a Thing About Smartphones

Today was a great day. I finally found the answer to a question; no maybe a condition; no perhaps just a feeling- that being, why do I get so angry and upset at people and their smartphones, that I want to take their phone and shove it down their throats or up....
Mark Manson wrote, "It's why we get annoyed at dinner when someone starts texting in front of us. It's why we get pissed off when someone pulls their phone out in a movie theatre. It's why we become irritated when someone is checking their email instead of watching the ballgame. (Here it is) Their inability to focus interferes with our (already fragile) ability to focus. The same way second-hand smoke harms the lungs of people around the smoker, smartphones harm the attention and focus of people around the smart phone user. It hijacks our senses. It forces us to pause our conversations and re-direct our thoughts unnecessarily. It causes us to lose our train of thought and forget that important point we were instructing in our head. It erodes at our ability to connect and simply be present with one another, destroying intimacy in the process."
In some instances it appears the smart phone has become a person's life. Perhaps our devices ought to enhance our life, not replace it!
There you have it--smartphones destroy my concentration and focus and I hate them! (Excuse me. My phone is ringing and I have to answer it)



Did you know

The crucial thing to live for is the sense of life and what you are doing,
and if that is not there, then you are living according to other peoples' notions of how life should be lived.
                                                             Joseph Campbell



Reader Response

The examples cited in "LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT" are from countries that have totalitarian or authoritative regimes, none of which we want to use as a model for Canada. However, that does not mean that we should permit the type of indiscriminate ad hoc entries into our country that currently are occurring. The message that is being sent to those who are going through proper channels (and vetting) to enter our country is "you are foolish for following the appropriate means of obtaining entry, forget about all that and just walk across the border and you will be taken care of". Immigration built this country and we need to continue to encourage people to come to Canada but as productive members of society, leaving their past prejudices and unacceptable behaviour behind. This means that all those who desire to immigrate to Canada must undergo the same level of processing. There should be no "loopholes" in the system to allow anyone who walks across the border to automatically go to the head of the line and immediately be provided with the benefits that those who have chosen the legitimate path only obtain after they have been properly processed.
That's How I See It!            Kenn



Does Exercise Help in the Fight Against Cancer?

A study published in the Journal of American Medical Association followed 2987 women with breast cancer. Women who exercised more than an hour a week after diagnosis were less likely to die of their disease.

In another study of 573 women with colon cancer, women who exercised more than five hours a week after diagnosis were 61% less likely to die of cancer-specific causes than women who exercised less than one hour a week. And exercise was protective no matter the patient's age, stage of cancer, or weight. Patients benefited even if they hadn't been physically active before their diagnosis.

A third study, in the Journal of Clinical Oncology found similar results after examining the effects of exercise on 832 men and women with stage III colon cancer.

Just how does exercise help? It is felt that exercise may increase the body's ability
 to recover from the effects of chemotherapy. Researchers also theorize that exercise can regulate production of certain hormones that, unregulated, may spur tumour growth.


Did you know

If you're depressed, you think depressed thoughts, which leads to more depressed thoughts. You remember sad things and forget happy ones. You lose energy and concentration, so you make bad decisions and can't follow through on things. Your brain loses the ability to experience happiness. You're no fun to be around, so people avoid you. In other words, depression is not just a mood; it leads to a truly depressing life.


 
From the mind of Steven Wright

 -I almost had a psychic girlfriend... But she left me before we met.
 -How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
 -If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.



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