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Why Did I Write "Communication & Relationships?"

 I certainly have told the story often enough of how the concepts for this book came about. There was a period of time in life when it seemed that every therapy session was an opportunity for a new story or learning insight. I just wrote a brief outline on a piece of paper and threw it in my briefcase thinking maybe someday I’ll do something with these “aha” moments. That someday came when the briefcase got so fat and I had to decide to throw out these slips of paper or write a book.

 I guess another reason I wrote the book is that I would like to introduce a more positive picture of therapy, one that is more creative, more fun, and less intimidating.

 Also, it is my hope the reader will recognize many of the concepts as something that occurs in their own lives. And that they will learn better ways of dealing with their own issues, see more possibilities for personal change and be more accepting of people and situations who see the world differently than they do.

 I would like people to stop creating so much unhappiness because they try and change others to think and act like they do. They don’t seem to understand that you can’t change another person. People only change when they feel safe/supportive. However, some individuals do change themselves when they are confronted with loss— loss of a relationship, of a job, status, something that is extremely important to that person— but it is the individual who deems it important enough for themselves to change, we can’t make them change.

 I wrote the book in a style that is very easy to read, 1-2 page concepts/stories that both men and woman find inviting (no long chapters to wade through).

 I wanted to challenge the reader to think beyond what I wrote and so having both partners read the same concept and discuss it is a powerful way to read this book and I recommend it most highly.