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"Notes" # 15

Let's Not Fight In The Parking Lot!

These are stressful times! COVID-19 has basically shut down our lives. Our usual coping mechanisms (activities/events) that brought us joy and acted as a diversion from many of the "have to's" in our daily life have been put on hold.

People/me are less flexible and forgiving when we see things we disagree with. We are low on patience; get defensive easier, so when we see someone doing or not doing in the case of social distancing and/or wearing a mask, we snap. (Saw some TV footage of persons fighting in a parking lot because one person thought the other should wear their mask going into a store) We react in an uncharacteristic manner using anger or a judgmental tone instead of a "respectful" voice.

We are all different and how we see "proper" responses to this pandemic will be different. I know it is hard not to react in a defensive way when you feel your children's, the seniors in your life, and your own health being compromised and disrespected-- that's how I feel sometimes when I see people in public places without their masks on, or on television showing beach scenes with thousands of people crowding together, or extra large family gatherings. It's hard but I know that anger and judgment vocalized will not bring you the result you desire, they will not hear you because they will too busy being defensive.

Just how then will we communicate our feelings about someone else's behaviours in a "respectful voice" so that we will be heard? Perhaps it is in the same voice that we would discuss any issue in which we disagree. You need to share your perspective up front, and you need to really listen to how others see the same issue. Remember, you don't have to agree with the other person's perspective but it is imperative that you respectfully listen to them and they you.

You may have to decline a lunch at a restaurant or wear your mask when at Wal-Mart even if others don't. My point is that you have to be true to your own thoughts, feelings values and beliefs but you do not have to "win" this difference of opinion. So in my mind it is about respect. I will truly try to understand where you come from and I expect the same from you. So let's agree that we don't have to agree but we will really listen to each other. And if we need to go in different directions on some issues so be it, this pandemic will pass.

From Barb's Book:
     Life is richest when we realize we are all snowflakes.
     Each of us is absolutely beautiful and unique.
     And we are here for a very short time.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Remember "Notes" # 12 about the opening of the US-Canadian border? Here are some of the responses:

     Now on the other side of the coin is us who have loved ones on the other side...of course we miss them, video chatting can only go so far before you breakdown and let's be honest NEED A HUG FROM THE OTHER PERSON...for couples and family that can not come to Canada for a minimum 14 days and are denied entry to enter into the USA this is heart have families split up and one parent having the child (S) on one side while not being able to cross not only takes a toll on ones relationship, mental health but also on the family unit itself.
     For everyone's health the borders need to stay closed, however I do believe that there needs to be communication and exceptions on both sides that allow people to cross to be with family and loved ones.  There is truly nothing WORSE then getting to the border with all documentation you were told you needed to provide and after an hour and a half with a special needs child being told that you are denied entry BECAUSE that border officer gets to decide whether or not your month long visit is deemed ESSENTIAL OR NOT!  Not to mention a few snide remarks from the border officers when you ask questions....all it does is give another blow to an already incredible tough situation. 
     SO YES I AGREE THEY NEED TO REMAIN CLOSED BUT WITH EXCEPTIONS AND THESE EXCEPTIONS NEED TO BE FOR BOTH SIDES.  If both sides can negotiate to keep them closed then they should be able to negotiate some exceptions to the same rules to allow families to be together. Those are my thoughts!!
The Common Sense approach is always better than some other approach. UNFORTUNATLY, Common Sense died a couple of years ago, about the same time Common Courtesy died - I saw the Obituaries of both of them. Maybe it started with the "Political Correctness" craze, who knows, and if they knew, who would admit it? So, I'm in favour of closed boarders for everyone who could be a carrier of COVID-19 or other deadly disease.

The writer expressed my thoughts explicitly and eloquently.

Well written. We are in complete agreement.

Absolutely correct!

Couldn't agree more. There's no way we should open the border for open travel.

My thoughts are to keep the border closed between Canada and the USA.

You guys in Manitoba did the right things, but you also don't have the population that larger centers do. Yes, we need to keep the Americans out.