Midweek #7, 2017

"Went to Shapes gym to see a note that Dr. Dan Rosin was present at the gym and is distributing his books. Curious to see what it's about I went up to him and he was very approachable, kind and easy-going. I am stoked to read about his book on Communication & Relationship, as we know that when we walk through the walks of life, maintaining balance and healthy relationships is key. Thank you Dr. Dan! I know that this book will be of a good resource for me."         Carlo

Dear reader of the Midweek,
Do you know anyone who is an author, artist, in the entertainment business, who writes a newsletter or blog using Social Media? If so, I would greatly appreciate your putting me in touch with them, or them with me, so we can both build our lists of people who know about us and what we do, and who would, perhaps, choose to support our endeavors.

Authors/artists/entertainers please contact me so that we can help each other to become more visible.

I have taken the liberty of writing something you could send, or alter to your choosing, to those who fit the above criteria.

My name is Dr. Dan Rosin and I am an author who writes a weekly newsletter. I am prepared to post information about you and your endeavours; conversely you can post information about my book and me. You can take the information from my newsletter, or I can write something specific for you. Let's help each other grow our Social Media lists.

Article

Better or Worse?

I am aware that couples are getting older (30+) before they are committing to permanent relationships, kids, and the house in the burbs. I wasn't sure why this was or if I really cared. So I was only mildly intrigued by the article in McLean's, Oct. 10,2016,  titled, "Are We Raising Our Boys To Be Underachieving Men?" It appears that girls are more suited for the school milieu than boys, and it is showing up in the changing male-female ratio of those that are attending university.

It is well known that girls mature physically and emotionally faster than boys and are able to focus better on assigned tasks earlier than boys. "The brain of a 5-year old boy is roughly equivalent to a 3.5-yearold girl." This means that girls have a great advantage over their male classmates in that they are better suited to sitting in their seats longer, focus better on learning tasks, are more self-disciplined, and try harder to please their teachers.

It is at the elementary school age that the love of learning burns bright, or peters out. If the boy's first impression of school is that it is restricting or that "It is Stupid" or worse yet, "He is stupid", he may be lost to learning for a long time. This early negative learning experience may set the tone for all that is to come, or not come - no post-secondary education.

In 2010 "more Canadian boys (10.3 percent) dropped out of high school than girls (6.6 percent)." I don't have dropout statistics for 1960, when I was leaving high school, but it seems to me that a great many more students dropped out of grade 10 and 11 than today - mostly male as I recall. I believe schools have really tried to match programs with student needs. I also believe that many individual teachers are making a huge difference in identifying and then referring or designing programs to meet the needs of individual students.

I don't believe parents are better or worse, or care more today  than 50 years ago - different times but they all love their kids and want the best for them. The parents of today may both be working and don't have much time, or just don't know how to be helpful to their kids when it comes to school subjects, computers - the new Learning Revolution. My parents may have had more time, but they left the "teaching and learning to the experts - teachers." My dad may have been home at 5 and mothers didn't work out of the home, but they still didn't have a clue what Trigonometry was (come to think of it, neither did I), or even what grade I was in (father).

So, in my opinion, in response to the question "Are we raising underachieving men?" my response is a definite - maybe! There certainly are ways for the education system to be more helpful to the different ways people, including boys, learn. The pendulum (number of professional women/men, per cent women/men attending university) has swung in favour of women (Woman's Movement) and it needed to. But it will swing back, or best case - even out. Maybe the system isn't really broken and doesn't need to be replaced or completely overhauled. Maybe just a firm tweak and the understanding (which leads to appropriate programs) that boys need early success and encouragement from a system not quite suited, at the moment, to their learning style.

What do you think?

Testimonials: "Communication & Relationships"

"This is a book I want the people I care most about to read."

"I think this book was written for and about me."

The book is full of snippets of wisdom that hit me where I live. It helped me to rethink where I am in my life and where I want to be, but most importantly the book showed me how to get there."

"It's easy to read and it is written in one or two page chunks of information, so you can read a section or two even if you only have a few minutes to spare."

Concept from Communication & Relationships

93% of Communication ...

I have heard it said that 93% of communication is tone, inflection and body posture, and that only 7% is content.

A client and I were discussing the various aspects of communication and the impact of poor communication on relationships. She was very succinct and firm in how she spoke.
She saw herself as an honest and "to the point" individual, and was quite upset at how she was perceived by her colleagues.

As we talked, it became clear that what she saw as honest and "to the point" in herself, others saw as judgmental and dogmatic. "People seem to be standoffish, even mad at me," she lamented. What I heard in her tone and inflection, even though she never actually used the words, were the "should" and "have to" inferences for others. Her words were benign, but how she delivered them-tone, inflection, body posture-left little mystery as to how she truly felt things should be done.

She and I agreed that when we communicate, it is very difficult to hide our inner thoughts and directives. Our choice of words and how we deliver our message generally makes it
pretty clear what our "intent" is. We need to learn to listen better-Active Listening-and to speak-tone, inflection, and body posture-without inviting the listener to feel they have to defend themselves.

Good active listening says, "I care about you, and will respectfully listen to you,
even if I do not agree with what you say."

Communication-Listening and speaking-is a package-tone, inflection, body posture and content.

It's not always what you say, but how you say it.
Your tone, inflection and body posture become the message.

Have a great week!