Dr Dan's That's How I See It! Newsletter Vol #118

 The kindest thing you can do for the people
you care about is to become a satisfied,
joyous person.     Albert Clarke

 What's on Tap!

 I am showing you this letter so that those who receive my newsletter in 2019, and who will be my Internet presence when I release my new book, Communication & Relationships (C & R), will know just how successful Finding Balance was/is. I believe C & R, written in the same style, is perhaps an even more in-depth read.

 To Whom It May Concern

 July 5, 2002

 Re: I Can Have Fun on a School Night by Dr. Daniel Rosin.

We have sold nearly 900 copies of Dan Rosin's I Can Have Fun on a School Night in our four stores since Dr. Rosin approached us to carry his book in March 2002. During its first five/six months we were re-ordering cartons of 48 on an almost weekly basis. In my twenty years as a bookseller, I have not seen a self-published book so well received, both in terms of its initial sale and in its ability to sustain strong, consistent backlist sales.

 Dr. Rosin is a great promoter of his book both here in his hometown and out on the road. He believes in what he is talking about and our 900 customers to-date believe in him.

 I really think this book could do very well in a market place larger than either ourselves or Dr. Rosin has been able to reach.

 Thank you.

Yours truly,

Steven Benstead

   Book Buyer McNally Robinson

 Finding Balance has sold over 10,500 copies to date.

 The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change confirms that global warming is now “unequivocal” and states with more than 90 per cent certainty that human activity is “very likely” the primary cause of rising temperatures worldwide since 1950.

 Global warming is likely to continue for centuries and perhaps it is already too late to stop some of the serious consequences it will bring - even if mankind could somehow hold the line on greenhouse gas emissions world wide starting today.

Just what are some of the consequences of global warming? Well, global temperatures are expected to increase 3.52 – 8 degrees Fahrenheit (2 – 4.5 degrees Celsius) by 2050. Rising temperatures will have a direct effect on water supplies and agriculture. Deserts will expand, the frequency and severity of droughts and deadly heat waves will increase, and snow will disappear in most areas.

 Sea levels worldwide are expected to rise between 7” and 23” (18 and 58 cm.) by 2100, and will continue to rise for at least the next hundred years.

 Fierce storms, such as hurricanes, will become more frequent and more floods will occur, due to rising sea levels and heavier rainfall in some areas.

 Global warming will also lead to a rise in many diseases that are deadly to humans. Flooding will contaminate water supplies in some areas giving rise to infectious diseases. Rising temperatures will also increase the range and breeding grounds of mosquitoes and other disease-bearing insects, exposing more people to diseases such as malaria, dengue fever, yellow fever and encephalitis.

 So just how do we slow down global warming? There has to be an immediate shift away from the use of coal and oil, and movement towards the expansion of clean, renewable energy. Consumers, corporations and governments around the world must be prepared to make a lasting and meaningful commitment to move away from their dependence on fossil fuels.

 Inspired by Larry West

 Circadian rhythms can influence sleep-wake cycles, hormone release, eating habits and digestion, body temperature, and other important bodily functions.

For a great deal more on Circadian Rhythm go to Circadian Rhythm-Google.

    Thanks Ed

 I am not sure why I chose to write in the style I have—short, concise, one- to three-page concepts. These concepts express my ideas, thoughts and insights in a succinct manner, and perhaps this writing style is indicative of how I think and learn best myself. Give me a germ of an idea and I’ll think it through, flush it out, embellish it (at times), and make it fit my logical way of seeing the world.

When reading this book, I ask you to work at forming your own interpretations of the concepts, not just accept what I think I have learned from my interactions with my clients. A suggestion from a colleague in using this book is to have both partners read the same concept and then discuss it together. Two beneficial things occur—they learn something new, and they are encouraged to communicate on things that might assist their relationship to reach a new level of openness and honesty.

“Communication & Relationships” was written in the same style as my first book, "Finding Balance". One of the things that makes it so easy to read and understand is that in using the “concept” form of writing, the reader doesn’t have to plough through pages and pages, or an entire chapter, to get to the “meat and potatoes” of what is being said. It’s all there on one or two pages.

 “Communication & Relationships” is about real people with real problems. It was inspired by the many experiences encountered while couples were in therapy with me over a lifetime. The cases described are actual composites of many different sessions with many different clients. The book is written for people who seek understanding of the problems they face in their everyday lives. By reading these stories/concepts about people just like them, and seeing how they and the therapist dealt with the problem, they can learn how to better deal with their own issues.

 In my work, people enter into therapy hoping to make their lives better, and it is my job to assist them to get their needs met. In addition to helping them, I also get something out of it. During the therapeutic process I often feel the atmosphere get highly energized and my creative juices seriously piqued. It has thus been at this moment of infused creative energy that the majority of ideas were conceptualized and eventually found their way into this book.

 With my previous book, "Finding Balance", it was suggested by a major book publisher that I convert the concept method of presenting the material to a tips method— “100 Tips On How To Have a Better Life”. It is ironic that after submitting my manuscript to several publishers, the only one to respond suggested that I totally change the book to the tips method. It’s funny now, but at the time, I was totally indignant and responded with somewhat of a martyr’s attitude, “I would rather maintain the integrity of this book as it was written than sell (out) a thousand tip books.”*  Interesting stance; however, I still feel the same today.

 Rather than "Communication & Relationships" being filled with tips, it presents “new ways of working with real issues”; methods I created while I was engaged in the therapeutic process. It is the creative “Ah, ahs” that came about in therapy that are the essence of the concepts in this book.

 *I am glad that I persevered and didn't go the "Tip" route! "Finding Balance" has sold more than 10,500 copies and is into its 6th printing. Not a blockbuster by some standards, but apparently extremely good—or so I have been told—for a Canadian book by a Canadian author in a limited market.

John Gottman’s research on what makes relationships work is most interesting and groundbreaking. He has studied thousands of couples over several decades in a lab setting and can predict with 94% certainty which couples will be together in six or seven years. Incredable research!

There are many reasons why relationships fail, but if you look at what drives the deterioration of many relationships, it's often a breakdown of kindness. As the normal stresses of a life together pile up - with children, career, friends, in-laws, and other distractions crowding out the time for romance and intimacy, couples may put less effort into their relationship and let the petty grievances they hold against one another tear them apart. But among couples who not only endure, but live happily together for years and years, the spirit of kindness and generosity guides them forward. 

Reader Response

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